What's Up~?

Listening to Called≠Plan. Damn they're great. I can't wait to hear their new stuff, 'V-Rap Style', was it? The preview of the single sounds awesome. Although, I was under the impression that they would be changing the band name. Not that I mind, I like Called≠Plan. I would like to know what it means, though... where did they come up with it? Oh, and the new drummer is a sweetie, isn't he? Actually, C≠P is just a band full of ikemen OHGOD I USED A JAPANESE WORDS FUCK SORRY I MEANT GOOD LOOKING DUDES. I don't like to use random Japanese words, so I'm sorry about that. Anyway, what I mean is that they're all very aesthetically appealing men... Ehh, I'm trying to describe it without being all fangirlish, but it feels too unnatural  So I'm going to stop trying to sound sensible and mature here now. I mean they're sexy. Like, fuck are they sexy. I have strong feelings towards Yuuto in particular, holy damn, I would. Even just listening to his voice through my headphones is just hnnnnn. Plus, he's actually a really sweet guy! I'm not sure if it's true, but he said that he doesn't smoke or drink alcohol. I think the part about him smoking is legit, but I dunno if he actually doesn't drink. I've convinced myself that it is true, though, because it makes me feel more comfortable about my own choices to not drink or smoke. I can feel really lonely sometimes because of it, and I feel like I'll never meet anyone else like me, but when I think how Yuuto could be the same, it makes me feel stronger. And when I read that, I fell in love with him. Of course, not real love because I don't actually know him, but you know what I mean, right? Also, at first I never used to find Rei attractive, mainly because of his smoking, but in his latest blog post I've just been like well fuCK ME SIDEWAYS. And of course, Syu is always sexy. Ehehehe, sorry about this fangirling here! I didn't actually intend to talk about them this much, but I got carried away... and now I've forgotten what else I was going to talk about!

So, it's holiday time here, and you know what that means? It's time for me to request a fucktonne of manga to catch up on! Awww yisssssss. The way this works is, during the school term, I generally don't read much manga, unless I happen to be at the library and find one I am interested in. So when it comes to the break, I request and read as much manga as I can. I just finished requesting a whole bunch of manga from my library! Hopefully I'll get most of them by Friday. I currently have 24 requested. I feel a little awkward, because that is a lot of books, but I read them very quickly, and I honestly have nothing else to do for the next two weeks, so I'm going to read as much as I can. This is how my holiday reading is looking so far;

• Haruka: Beyond the Stream of Time vol. 12
• The Devil Does Exist vol. 10
• Love Com vol. 9
• Gakuen Alice vol. 14
• Mixed Vegetables vol. 5
• Hana-Kimi vol. 9
• Loveless vol. 9 (Finally! Been waiting for this for months! This series was my first exposure to the wonders of BL, and I'm so excited to read it I actually can't wait~)
• B.O.D.Y. vol. 6
• Black Butler vol. 9
• Bakuman vol.2
• Library Wars vol. 2 (This one is looking to be a good one!)
• The Tyrant Falls In Love vol.3 (Hehehe... >///<)
• Fullmetal Alchemist vol.7
• Honey Hunt vol.3 
• The Story of Saiunkoku vol.2
• Hetalia vol.2
• Naruto vol. 8 (Shhh I love Naruto ok XD)
• Psyren vol.2 (This one is really interesting! I've only read one volume, but I really recommend it! It's almost like Gantz... But waaaay less violent and explicit.)
• Sand Chronicles vol. 4
• Wild Ones vol. 2
• Heaven!! Vol. 2
• Ouran High School Host Club vol. 6 (Already read Ouran twice, but I'm reading it again)
• Crimson Hero vol. 3
• Girl Got Game vol. 1 (Requested this because it's the same artist as Love Attack! and Heaven!! Love her stories, especially her take-no-shit-from-anyone main girl characters)

Yeah, most are shoujo. I've already been over this, I'm a shoujo junkie. There are a couple that aren't shoujo  though. Not that it matters to me. I regret nothing, and I have nothing to hide. Except for The Tyrant Falls In Love, the only yaoi and 18+ manga on there. But I'll only hide that from my parents and most people I know in real life.... I'm a little worried that when I go to check it out from the library, they'll see on my account that I'm not 18, and ask me to get it out from the front desk or something. Usually I use the self checkouts... I don't want them to see it, because even the cover of it is obviously guy love... Oh well, if they do I just won't get it out. I'll read it online instead. XD

I also plan to watch as much Naruto as possible these holidays, to finally fill in all the gaps in my knowledge once and for all. No, I haven't seen every single episode. I've seen large chunks, but there are also chunks that I haven't watched yet. So I'm hoping to watch all of the original series. As for Shippuden, well... I'll say that I'm quite a way behind on that one... maybe next holidays I'll try catch up on that...

Oh wait, my next holiday isn't really a holiday. Because after this break, I only have three more weeks left of high school. Then it's three weeks of studying and final exams, and then... I'm free? My school life will be over until I go to Uni... but it's not really the same kind of student. Wow. Shit. Ok. It hadn't quite hit home yet. I still don't think it has. I just can't imagine not being at school anymore. I know I say that I hate it and everyone there, but honestly I'm not looking forward to leaving. Because there are people I will miss. Mostly, the Japanese students who have been here for two years and who I have become friends with. Also because, I'm gonna have to grow up. And I definitely don't want to do that. Ahh, I guess I'll think about all that when the time comes. No point worrying about it now. 

I'll leave it at that today. I'm still not happy with how my writing is... I feel like it will be painful for people to read. I'm sorry, and as always, I'll try harder next time~!

NP - I sing for you by THE KIDDIE (I love this song and band so much omfg)

OHHEY~

Wow, it's been what, three weeks since I posted last? Something like that. To be honest, I'm not even sorry. I don't really have a good reason why, either. Forever a useless blogger... XD

Since my last post, which I just reread and am now shuddering with embarrassment over how much of a loser I am, I've still been feeling a little down every now and then, but overall I'd say I'm feeling more like myself. I've been feeling pretty happy with most things. But I didn't want to post for a while. I'm not really sure, but I just didn't want to. I wanted to sort out the weird slump that I was in and come back with a fresh attitude. I'm trying to be more positive about things. It's hard, seriously. I've been so negative about everything for so long, it's hard to just turn that off. I don't think I ever will, really. I just want to be able to look at things in a more positive light. So I'll keep working at that. 

I guess another reason for my lack of blog is for this past week I've had practise exams at school, so I was studying hard for those. Nerd alert. I don't know why I studied quite so hard for them, as it was just practise for the end of year exams, but I did and I kind of wore myself out. Honestly though, I think it's because I hate the feeling of failing. I feel like when I don't pass with good grades, even if its just a practise exam, then I'm letting people down. Not only myself, but my parents and especially my teachers. I feel like I wasted their time. Seriously, I respect four out of five of my teachers a lot, they're really intelligent people who genuinely care for my education. The fifth one, well, I don't think he gives two fucks, but hey. He's fun to have as a teacher for a subject that I don't care about. Anyway, my last one was on Thursday last week.  Overall, I think I did okay. There are some subjects that I could have done better in, but I certainly could have done worse! Wait, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Also, for a couple of weeks before last week I was also studying. So yeah. 

Lastly, and mainly, I'd say it's just because I'm lazy, and frankly I find myself to be an extremely boring person. I just never really had anything interesting to say. Honestly, I still don't. I'm just rambling here, and I will continue to do so for the rest of this post, and all the posts to come. I hope there is at least one person who finds my ramblings interesting, or just likes to read to laugh at me, or just to be a mind-numbing distraction from something. I'm happy to be anything you need! Feel free to laugh at me or numb your overworked mind. ^^

So I'm hoping to get a job interview really soon. I need one. I've already talked about the place where I applied, and my friend who works there said that her manager is going to start calling in lots of people for interviews over the next few days. I'm crossing all my fingers and toes hoping that I'm one of those people. My friend also put in good word for me, so hopefully that'll up my chances. I really hope I get the job, and I don't mean to sound full of myself here at all, but I should have a pretty good chance of getting it. It's like, the lowest place to start in terms of part time jobs, right alongside working in a supermarket. They hire anyone if they need to. Plus, if you'd seen the kinds of people that they have working there already, then I seem like a pretty good choice. That's saying something, right?

I really wanna buy FEST VAINQUEUR's new album! I really love them, their music has a really good energy. If I got it from CDJapan, so long as I got first press, it would come with a signed poster! Eeeeep! This is one reason why I desperately need a job... I am also quite interested in buying Mejibray's new single Emily, but then I think I'll wait for another full album release from them. I've known of Mejibray for a while, and I always thought their music was really good, but I've only just started really listening to them a lot recently, as in the past couple of months. And I know this is going to make me sound really noobish, but I'm still not over the fact that MiA used to be in Toon Factory. I liked MiA before I knew he was MiA. I really liked Toon Factory, but then it turned out that they had disbanded like, a month before I got into them. So I didn't really keep up with them or what the members were up to. Then Mejibray and then MiA and then whaaaaa. Now that I think about it though, Toon Factory started out all oshare and colourful, but they did become darker in look and sound towards the end. So maybe its not so weird that MiA ended up in Mejibray. And it seems that he is really enjoying every minute of being in Mejibray, which is great. He's such a wonderful musician.

Still on the topic of music that I really want to buy but seriously lack the money for. THE KIDDIE have another album coming out! Two in one year! They're really on a roll! And of course, me being an uber KIDDIE fangirl for life, I have to get it. I don't care if I have to sponge of my parents to get it. I'm just waiting for CDJapan to list it, and then that baby is mine. Awww yisssss. I just have one problem, though... Yusa's new hair. What in the world was he thinking?! It's awful! I just can't even deal... What's he going to do when he is just dressing casually, say, to go to the supermarket or something? He's going to have this ridiculous looking fringe thing going on. Oh well, I hope, for his sake at least, that his hair grows out fast.
And there's more! UNiTE, new album. I adore UNiTE. And I don't have any physical copies of their music yet, so I really want this album too. Also, Mix Speaker's,Inc. are releasing a new album. I don't have any of their CDs either, so I want that tooooo. PLUS, oh this just keeps getting better and better (both in a serious and sarcastic way), LM.C are releasing a new single! Which, because LM.C are my favourite band in the whole world forever, I want desperately. I'm pretty sure that there was a couple of other things, but these are the ones I want the most as of right now, this day. Oh can you imagine what this is going to do to my parents wallets? This is exactly why I want a job, because I want all these things, but I can't possibly ask my parents to buy all that. I need to be able to get things like this for myself. I'll feel okay with asking my parents to buy me necessary things, like socks or toothpaste, but when it comes to things like music or expensive clothes, I really want to be able to get them with my own work and money.

Last thing for today, as I just remembered something else on my want list, BURU2! SuG's Takeru x Kera book. I have the first one, and it consistently makes me so happy. Even if I can't read it, just flicking through and looking at the photos, seeing Takeru's beautiful face on almost every page. Thinking about how much I love, and am thankful to him for. So I would really like to get BURU2, for sentimental reasons more than anything.

Yup. So it turns out that this post was just me updating, or whining, take your pick, about all the things I want right now. This second half of the year has been just as packed, if not more, than the first in terms of music releases! But I'm not complaining. New music just means that the bands I love are doing okay. That's the way I see it, anyway.

I'm really sorry for this long and shit post. I realise it is completely boring and lacking in flow. My writing is crap right now, plus I'm really tired today. As always, I'll try to do better next time!

NP - LOSING MY WAY OF THE PROUD by Sadie

We Will Always Be THE KIDDIE~!

Man, I fucking love THE KIDDIE. I've suddenly started having uber fangirl feelings towards them. Don't get me wrong, I've loved them for a long time now, and their music never fails to bring a smile to my face. But recently, I've started paying a lot more attention to them and loving them even more. I think one of the things I love the most about them, after their wonderful music of course, is their amazing friendship. Seriously, it's so beautiful and genuine to me. Obviously, there's no way I could possibly know if that's actually true. But if you just look at their photos, especially recently, it really looks like they love hanging out together and they genuinely are like best friends, or even brothers. It just seems so natural. Their friendship is so strong and effortless, I think it communicates with the fans in a way, it reaches us. And it makes me feel so happy and secure. I love seeing photos of them having fun, being dorks, doing whatever. Because they do it together. And I just think it's really beautiful. Honestly, it gives me an even deeper appreciation for their music. I believe that they truly love making music together, and that makes listening to it even more enjoyable and special. I really feel that they're going to be together for a long time, and they will always be THE KIDDIE!

You know, I feel that when it comes to Jrock, you just can't win with some fans. I don't really know what the best way to explain it is... So I'll do it this way. Imagine there is a band that you've heard a bit about, maybe listened to a song or two of theirs, or watched a PV on YouTube. You do like what you have heard, but you feel that you just haven't really listened to them all that much. At least, not enough to say if you really like them or actually aren't so keen on them. So you don't really know how to answer when someone asks, do you like them? I feel like in this situation, I would feel very uncomfortable. I wouldn't want to say yes, because like I said, you haven't listened to them enough to decide if I do like them, and if you do say yes but then don't know things like the names of the members, what their latest singles are etc, the fan will get all batshit crazy and bring out the "You're not a real fan" crap. But then if you say no, then the fan will still go batshit crazy on you and accuse you of all sorts of unfair things and claim you have no soul and wouldn't know good music if it punched you in the face. So all you're left with is to tell them that you don't know, because you haven't really listened to them, or haven't listened to them at all. And then again, the fan gets batshit crazy, and is all, how can you not know this band oh my glob and you call yourself a visual/Jrock fan?!
Now, I've never been in this situation, and I've never seen it play out exactly like this, but I have seen aspects of it around. And it makes me worried. I'm just going to put it out there, I had a couple of specific bands in mind when writing that. And I'm probably going to get totally bricked for this, but they are the GazettE, and Dir En Grey //hides. There are actually many others, but these two seem to stick out the most. I feel so much pressure that these should be bands that I am totally familiar with their musical history, and I should love both of them. But in all honesty, I haven't given either much of a listen. In fact, I've never listened to Dir En Grey. I've only ever heard a couple of songs of the GazettE, too. This is where people misunderstand. Just because I say that I don't 'like' these bands, doesn't mean that I hate them or doubt their talent. I just haven't listened to them much. That's all. I'm sure they are really great, but they just don't appeal to me right now. Is that ok? It seems like when you tell someone that you don't like Dir En Grey, you get bricked, and when you say you haven't listened to them, shit just hits the fan... haa, see what I did there? Anyway. That's pretty much the best I can do with trying to get my thoughts on it down. I know it's probably not very clear, and I've probably just dug myself into a giant hole. More like a black abyss. But I've just been thinking about this a lot lately, and I had to try and get it down.

More sort of on the same subject, sometimes the reason why I never really get into some bands, particularly older bands, is because they just have too much music. A band that has been around for ten years now, has something like 23 full albums, 12 mini albums and 64 singles (please not the exaggeration). I mean, of course, if I REALLY love their music, then I will take the time to go through and listen to as much as I can, but if I just like the music, you know, like think that is's 'okay', then I won't bother too much. Therefore, for such bands, while I may like the music of theirs that I've heard, I don't feel right calling myself a fan of said band. Shit, Misa... just keep digging that hole of yours... you aren't going to be able to climb out so easily. Hahaaaa... I guess I also just like to support the newer bands who don't get much appreciation. Or something like that. I'll stop now. XD

Just going back to THE KIDDIE for two seconds, I feel the need to mention that I have also recently started shipping members. I FEEL AWFUL FOR DOING IT. But I can't stop it now! I never thought I'd ship them... they're so innocent! Damn my dirty mind. If you're curious, I ship Yuudai with Jun, and Yusa with Sorao. Poor Yuusei. I just don't see him with any of the members, right?

Wow, very music-related post today, huh. On a not music related note, my cat is sitting on my leg and now my leg has gone dead. I can't feel my foot. I think I should go for a little walk now.

I Wish I Had Never Met You~

I've just recently discovered the band Dazzle Vision, and even though I haven't listened to them a lot yet, I already know that they're going to be a favourite. The singer is a girl, and she has a really sweet singing voice, but what I really love is her death voice. I find it so shocking and amazing that such intense growls can come from such a cute girl! I guess that's why their latest album is called Shocking Loud Voice. I'm seriously considering buying it, but I'm still thinking about it, because there is lots of other albums that I want to buy. Like
Called≠Plan's mini album NO Yancha!! NO Live!!. They're way up there in my long list of favourites, but I think I might wait until they release a full album. I also really want PIECE's new album BRAVE HEARTS, but it's soooooo expensive. It costs more than Golden Bomber albums. That's saying something. Being a visual kei fan sure is expensive. I really should think about looking for a job. =3=


In other news, I finally have a new iPod~ I'd had the same 4GB, lime green Nano for six years. I'm surprised it's even lasted this long. But it was starting to fall apart and I could only fit 400 songs on it and blahblahblah... So after a lot of careful consideration, I decided to go with the 64GB iPod touch. I know, 64GB is a lot. But I didn't want to take any chances, I want this iPod to last as long as possible. Plus, if it's touch, you have to take into consideration things like videos and photos and apps. That stuff takes up space too, so, I thought it's better to be safe than sorry. And I have to say, so far I love it. It's so exciting, technology these days! I talk like I'm an old person.. I'm only 17! 


I have mid-term exams starting this Friday. And fuck, look at me. When I should be studying and working on assessments that are due then, I'm sitting here derping around on the internet, writing shit that nobody cares about. Failure, here I come...


NP - mr.FIREBIRD by THE KIDDIE

Look At All The Fucks I Give~

I always find myself with something that I want to write about here, but at the most awkward and inconvenient times. Like, when I'm walking home from school, or when I'm in the shower. There's no computer there! And I don't have an iPhone or anything technologically advanced like that, so I can't write it down. Then, when I'm finally in a position to be able to write something, I can't be bothered anymore. Damn I'm lazy. I guess it makes sense that one of my absolute favourite animals is the sloth. Seriously, those things are so frickin' adorable.

April! It was a really good month. Really, it was great for me. I guess I'll sum it up.
- LM.C's new album STRONG POP was released (of which I own limited A and B)
- SuG's new album LOLLIPOP KINGDOM was released (I have the 3939 Collectors Box)
- I got my copy of THE KIDDIE's new album MA★PIECE, which was actually released in March, but I had it shipped with SuG's album.
- I got a couple of new SEXPOT ReVeNGe things
- I got two h.NAOTO things! A really awesome h.ANARCHY cardigan, and a pair of Hangry&Angry shorts. Seriously, this made me so happy, I'm actually in love with h.NAOTO. Hirooka-san is such a genius with clothes.
- It was my mums birthday~ (I don't know how this was good for me, but y'know)
- I got the grades that I was aiming for in all my assessments! Whooooop~
- The term 1 holiday was within April
- Parent-Teacher interviews... all my teachers love me hehe (God knows why, I'm actually a terrible student)

I'm sure there are other things, but I can't remember them right now. I guess it's kind of late to talk about what happened in April now, anyway. We're almost half-way through May.

Lalalaherpaderpa. I completely forgot what else I was going to say for this. So I think it's best I leave it at that, otherwise I'm gonna implode my brain trying to remember what I had plannned.
Byebye~

NP - Bara Bara? by DEVI+TEC