Since my last post, which I just reread and am now shuddering with embarrassment over how much of a loser I am, I've still been feeling a little down every now and then, but overall I'd say I'm feeling more like myself. I've been feeling pretty happy with most things. But I didn't want to post for a while. I'm not really sure, but I just didn't want to. I wanted to sort out the weird slump that I was in and come back with a fresh attitude. I'm trying to be more positive about things. It's hard, seriously. I've been so negative about everything for so long, it's hard to just turn that off. I don't think I ever will, really. I just want to be able to look at things in a more positive light. So I'll keep working at that.
I guess another reason for my lack of blog is for this past week I've had practise exams at school, so I was studying hard for those. Nerd alert. I don't know why I studied quite so hard for them, as it was just practise for the end of year exams, but I did and I kind of wore myself out. Honestly though, I think it's because I hate the feeling of failing. I feel like when I don't pass with good grades, even if its just a practise exam, then I'm letting people down. Not only myself, but my parents and especially my teachers. I feel like I wasted their time. Seriously, I respect four out of five of my teachers a lot, they're really intelligent people who genuinely care for my education. The fifth one, well, I don't think he gives two fucks, but hey. He's fun to have as a teacher for a subject that I don't care about. Anyway, my last one was on Thursday last week. Overall, I think I did okay. There are some subjects that I could have done better in, but I certainly could have done worse! Wait, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Also, for a couple of weeks before last week I was also studying. So yeah.
Lastly, and mainly, I'd say it's just because I'm lazy, and frankly I find myself to be an extremely boring person. I just never really had anything interesting to say. Honestly, I still don't. I'm just rambling here, and I will continue to do so for the rest of this post, and all the posts to come. I hope there is at least one person who finds my ramblings interesting, or just likes to read to laugh at me, or just to be a mind-numbing distraction from something. I'm happy to be anything you need! Feel free to laugh at me or numb your overworked mind. ^^
So I'm hoping to get a job interview really soon. I need one. I've already talked about the place where I applied, and my friend who works there said that her manager is going to start calling in lots of people for interviews over the next few days. I'm crossing all my fingers and toes hoping that I'm one of those people. My friend also put in good word for me, so hopefully that'll up my chances. I really hope I get the job, and I don't mean to sound full of myself here at all, but I should have a pretty good chance of getting it. It's like, the lowest place to start in terms of part time jobs, right alongside working in a supermarket. They hire anyone if they need to. Plus, if you'd seen the kinds of people that they have working there already, then I seem like a pretty good choice. That's saying something, right?
I really wanna buy FEST VAINQUEUR's new album! I really love them, their music has a really good energy. If I got it from CDJapan, so long as I got first press, it would come with a signed poster! Eeeeep! This is one reason why I desperately need a job... I am also quite interested in buying Mejibray's new single Emily, but then I think I'll wait for another full album release from them. I've known of Mejibray for a while, and I always thought their music was really good, but I've only just started really listening to them a lot recently, as in the past couple of months. And I know this is going to make me sound really noobish, but I'm still not over the fact that MiA used to be in Toon Factory. I liked MiA before I knew he was MiA. I really liked Toon Factory, but then it turned out that they had disbanded like, a month before I got into them. So I didn't really keep up with them or what the members were up to. Then Mejibray and then MiA and then whaaaaa. Now that I think about it though, Toon Factory started out all oshare and colourful, but they did become darker in look and sound towards the end. So maybe its not so weird that MiA ended up in Mejibray. And it seems that he is really enjoying every minute of being in Mejibray, which is great. He's such a wonderful musician.
Still on the topic of music that I really want to buy but seriously lack the money for. THE KIDDIE have another album coming out! Two in one year! They're really on a roll! And of course, me being an uber KIDDIE fangirl for life, I have to get it. I don't care if I have to sponge of my parents to get it. I'm just waiting for CDJapan to list it, and then that baby is mine. Awww yisssss. I just have one problem, though... Yusa's new hair. What in the world was he thinking?! It's awful! I just can't even deal... What's he going to do when he is just dressing casually, say, to go to the supermarket or something? He's going to have this ridiculous looking fringe thing going on. Oh well, I hope, for his sake at least, that his hair grows out fast.
And there's more! UNiTE, new album. I adore UNiTE. And I don't have any physical copies of their music yet, so I really want this album too. Also, Mix Speaker's,Inc. are releasing a new album. I don't have any of their CDs either, so I want that tooooo. PLUS, oh this just keeps getting better and better (both in a serious and sarcastic way), LM.C are releasing a new single! Which, because LM.C are my favourite band in the whole world forever, I want desperately. I'm pretty sure that there was a couple of other things, but these are the ones I want the most as of right now, this day. Oh can you imagine what this is going to do to my parents wallets? This is exactly why I want a job, because I want all these things, but I can't possibly ask my parents to buy all that. I need to be able to get things like this for myself. I'll feel okay with asking my parents to buy me necessary things, like socks or toothpaste, but when it comes to things like music or expensive clothes, I really want to be able to get them with my own work and money.
Last thing for today, as I just remembered something else on my want list, BURU2! SuG's Takeru x Kera book. I have the first one, and it consistently makes me so happy. Even if I can't read it, just flicking through and looking at the photos, seeing Takeru's beautiful face on almost every page. Thinking about how much I love, and am thankful to him for. So I would really like to get BURU2, for sentimental reasons more than anything.
Yup. So it turns out that this post was just me updating, or whining, take your pick, about all the things I want right now. This second half of the year has been just as packed, if not more, than the first in terms of music releases! But I'm not complaining. New music just means that the bands I love are doing okay. That's the way I see it, anyway.
I'm really sorry for this long and shit post. I realise it is completely boring and lacking in flow. My writing is crap right now, plus I'm really tired today. As always, I'll try to do better next time!
NP - LOSING MY WAY OF THE PROUD by Sadie
So I'm hoping to get a job interview really soon. I need one. I've already talked about the place where I applied, and my friend who works there said that her manager is going to start calling in lots of people for interviews over the next few days. I'm crossing all my fingers and toes hoping that I'm one of those people. My friend also put in good word for me, so hopefully that'll up my chances. I really hope I get the job, and I don't mean to sound full of myself here at all, but I should have a pretty good chance of getting it. It's like, the lowest place to start in terms of part time jobs, right alongside working in a supermarket. They hire anyone if they need to. Plus, if you'd seen the kinds of people that they have working there already, then I seem like a pretty good choice. That's saying something, right?
I really wanna buy FEST VAINQUEUR's new album! I really love them, their music has a really good energy. If I got it from CDJapan, so long as I got first press, it would come with a signed poster! Eeeeep! This is one reason why I desperately need a job... I am also quite interested in buying Mejibray's new single Emily, but then I think I'll wait for another full album release from them. I've known of Mejibray for a while, and I always thought their music was really good, but I've only just started really listening to them a lot recently, as in the past couple of months. And I know this is going to make me sound really noobish, but I'm still not over the fact that MiA used to be in Toon Factory. I liked MiA before I knew he was MiA. I really liked Toon Factory, but then it turned out that they had disbanded like, a month before I got into them. So I didn't really keep up with them or what the members were up to. Then Mejibray and then MiA and then whaaaaa. Now that I think about it though, Toon Factory started out all oshare and colourful, but they did become darker in look and sound towards the end. So maybe its not so weird that MiA ended up in Mejibray. And it seems that he is really enjoying every minute of being in Mejibray, which is great. He's such a wonderful musician.
Still on the topic of music that I really want to buy but seriously lack the money for. THE KIDDIE have another album coming out! Two in one year! They're really on a roll! And of course, me being an uber KIDDIE fangirl for life, I have to get it. I don't care if I have to sponge of my parents to get it. I'm just waiting for CDJapan to list it, and then that baby is mine. Awww yisssss. I just have one problem, though... Yusa's new hair. What in the world was he thinking?! It's awful! I just can't even deal... What's he going to do when he is just dressing casually, say, to go to the supermarket or something? He's going to have this ridiculous looking fringe thing going on. Oh well, I hope, for his sake at least, that his hair grows out fast.
And there's more! UNiTE, new album. I adore UNiTE. And I don't have any physical copies of their music yet, so I really want this album too. Also, Mix Speaker's,Inc. are releasing a new album. I don't have any of their CDs either, so I want that tooooo. PLUS, oh this just keeps getting better and better (both in a serious and sarcastic way), LM.C are releasing a new single! Which, because LM.C are my favourite band in the whole world forever, I want desperately. I'm pretty sure that there was a couple of other things, but these are the ones I want the most as of right now, this day. Oh can you imagine what this is going to do to my parents wallets? This is exactly why I want a job, because I want all these things, but I can't possibly ask my parents to buy all that. I need to be able to get things like this for myself. I'll feel okay with asking my parents to buy me necessary things, like socks or toothpaste, but when it comes to things like music or expensive clothes, I really want to be able to get them with my own work and money.
Last thing for today, as I just remembered something else on my want list, BURU2! SuG's Takeru x Kera book. I have the first one, and it consistently makes me so happy. Even if I can't read it, just flicking through and looking at the photos, seeing Takeru's beautiful face on almost every page. Thinking about how much I love, and am thankful to him for. So I would really like to get BURU2, for sentimental reasons more than anything.
Yup. So it turns out that this post was just me updating, or whining, take your pick, about all the things I want right now. This second half of the year has been just as packed, if not more, than the first in terms of music releases! But I'm not complaining. New music just means that the bands I love are doing okay. That's the way I see it, anyway.
I'm really sorry for this long and shit post. I realise it is completely boring and lacking in flow. My writing is crap right now, plus I'm really tired today. As always, I'll try to do better next time!
NP - LOSING MY WAY OF THE PROUD by Sadie
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