G.O.T.C.H.A.6.K.A~!

For a while now I've been thinking that I should update my blog. You know, change the layout and format and all that. And I really would like to, because honestly, this one that I have now I super fucking boring. It's been the same since I first started this blog just over three years ago. The thing is, I just really don't like any of the other pre-set layouts provided by Blogger, and I'm waaay to technologically impaired to make my own. Seriously, I am clueless when it comes to HTML and coding... Which is actually quite funny, considering that I've been taking Web Design as a subject for the past two years. I don't actually do any work in that class, though. It's like my second free subject. When we have work to do, I just ask my teacher and he basically tells me exactly what to do. Um, tangent, ok... Anyway, I'm going to take another look at the pre-set templates and see if I can find something a little more exciting. I guess I'll just have to play around with it a little and see what I can work out, and what I come up with. I might need to wait a bit though, until I have enough time to really get stuck in and focus on it. I have mid-term exams coming up in two weeks, so from now on I'll be super busy and nerdy with studying... Or at least, I'll pretend that's what I'm doing. I've never really been that good at studying, but I surprisingly manage to get by with pretty good grades. Maybe just for now I'll try to find a pre-set template that's a little more interesting than this, that I'll use temporarily.
Also, one of these days I'll figure out how add photos to these posts... I bet it's probably not even that difficult, I'm just an idiot. I guess I'll do that at the same time as the layout shizz. At least this way, it gives me enough time to figure out what to post photos of. I'm not really very confident with myself at all, so I wouldn't really want to post photos of my face... And my clothes aren't really cool enough to do outfit posts. I'm just generally quite plain and average. Ahh, well. I'll figure it out. I just feel like having photos will make my blog at least a little more interesting. And I need all the interesting I can get. ><;;

Writing this post is making me feel really dizzy. I haven't been feeling so good for the last two days, and I'm off school today. I probably shouldn't be using my computer at all, I knoooow. But I'm so bored~ There isn't even any entertaining trash on E! channel. Just E! News and boring THS junk.

Oh, I ordered more things on Sunday! Well, this time it was just one thing. I ordered it from Rakuten again, this time from a seller/store called Mansaiya. Whenever I search for things on Rakuten, this seller always comes up. I guess that's because I mostly search for clothes like SUPER LOVERS. And, they ship to my country, so I don't have to go through a shopping service. Again, I ordered from here because it worked out to be much cheaper than CDJapan.
BUT, I'm not going to lie, I'm getting a little worried about both of my recent orders. I ordered from the SUPER LOVERS online/Rakuten shop on Thursday last week. I did get the automatic confirmation email and everything, but it's now Tuesday afternoon and I haven't heard anything more from them. They haven't emailed me saying that it's been posted to my Tenso address, and Tenso certainly haven't received it yet. I'm hoping that it's something to do with the fact that I payed by credit card, and that it will take a while for the payment to go through. Then once they get my payment, they'll post my order.
I have similar concerns for my Mansaiya order, although I did only order on Sunday, so I'm not as concerned. But still, I haven't heard anything from this store either... I'm not sure what to do. How long should I wait until I email the sellers? I dunno maaaaan. I guess I'm just over-thinking and such because I've never ordered from here before. It'll be fine. I'm sure it will be fine. Whoo~

In other *fangirl* news, FUCKING YES GOTCHAROCKA NICONICO. When I saw the announcement   that they were going to be on a live stream, I so nearly cried. I'm so happy, I don't even care that it's way late here and I'm sick as fuck. After missing their last one, because I'm the biggest retard ever and got the timing/dates all wrong, I was so heart shattered, and I was beginning to think that I missed the only chance.
I actually started this before the broadcast was on... it was done with purpose, though, because I wanted to be able to fangirl after watching it. So, here goes...
OMFGSAFSDGDFG. THEY'RE SO PERFECT. I really, really loved watching them. It doesn't matter in the slightest that I couldn't understand a word. Just seeing them all laugh and smile made me so, so happy. They're a really great bunch of guys. You know how I like to ramble on about bands, and their band dynamic? Well, GOTCHAROCKA's band dynamic is so out of this world. They are perfect together as a band. I have no worries about them at all, I feel that they're going to be together for a long time. Ahhh I'm still buzzing about seeing them. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This morning I was listening to them, and going through Toya's blog images, and I actually felt like I was going to cry. Happy tears, not sad tears! I was just like... I love these guys so fucking much. I am so thankful to Jun for bringing me to GOTCHAROCKA. It was also really great being able to chat with the WARPS/ROCKAS again... although, it wasn't quite the same as Jun's old Niconicos... oh well, it was something. And for that I'm extremely grateful~!
Also, I realised how much I love and adore Toya! I mean, I already new I loved him, but wow... He's so gorgeous and precious and perfect! He's way up there man, but of course, Jun is always number one in my heart~ Alright, fangirl spazz end.

Alright, now I really feel like junk. Time for a cup of tea then a nap~

NP - 4 minutes for you by GOTCHAROCKA

We Are Rock People~!

Fuck. I miss Jun's Niconico weekly live streams. I miss chatting with all the WARPS, fangirling and squealing over collarbones and thighs, Beardy, his occasional tipsy-like behaviour, the Happy Birthday song in adorable engrish, the always asking for a kiss but not getting it (except a couple of times, ohmygod). Having something to look forward to every week, something that could get me through the week. Knowing that no matter how bad a week it had been, Jun and all the WARPS would be there. I guess I miss the the general feeling of the streams. The feeling that I actually belong somewhere. The feeling of being part of one big, awesome, crazy family. Seriously, the Spiv States/Jun fandom is the only one that I've ever felt comfortable in, or like I am actually a part of. Ugh. Now I'm really sad. How do I deal~!

Ok, so the other day in class, someone who I thought was supposed to be something of a friend of mine, said something that struck a nerve with me. Long story short, he essentially said, straight to my face, that visual kei is 'disgusting', and he doesn't understand why guys would willingly make themselves look more feminine and the fact that they do look like girls is disgusting. All I was doing was looking at a photo that Jun (Utahiroba, of Golden Bomber), had posted in a blog entry. That's all. I wasn't harming anyone, I wasn't talking to him, just minding my own business.I didn't ask for his opinion. It was weird, because usually he just jokes about my 'men in skirts', but I don't mind that so much, because I know he's just kidding around and isn't trying to be mean.
I was shocked. I didn't even know what to say, it was so random and out of the blue. I was so fucking upset and angry that I actually had to get up and leave the room. I don't know why, but I felt like I was going to burst into tears, like it was my mother that he was insulting. It really, really hurt. I wanted to punch him in face. And even though it was quite clear that what he said hurt me, he hasn't apologised. No, I don't want him to apologise for having his own opinion, but generally, when you hurt someone, you should apologise for hurting them. He knows that my music and bands are practically my whole life, and I just don't get why he had to say something so rude about it. Honestly, he didn't have to fucking say anything at all. I didn't ask him what he thought, I didn't ask him to look. He could have just kept his mouth shut. I haven't talked to him since then, and honestly, I don't care if I never talk to him again. He really wasn't even that good of a friend.

What makes it worse, was that recently I've been feeling quite lonely. I don't really have anyone else who has the same musical interests as me. Sometimes I just want to fangirl the fuck out, but with another fangirl, not by myself all the time. I don't know anyone else other than my homestay who likes visual kei. At school I feel so alone, even when I have people around me. I can't talk to any of my 'friends' about my music, and if/when I do, I feel like I shouldn't because they don't care. It's really hard to be a visual fan, huh... Especially when you're an internet nobody and you don't even have online friends to fangirl with. I just feel... so... ughh.

Oh wahhh, this post was really depressing, huh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to be.
Oh, funny story! Yesterday, I was sitting in Geography class doing my work (I sit up the front), and I happened to overhear two guys who sit at the back of my class talking. Their conversation, from where I heard it, went something like this:
Guy 1 - "Ouch!"
Guy 2- "I didn't even go that hard!"
Guy 1 - "But it hurt!"
Pause
Guy 1 - "Stop it, it feels weird!"

My jaw literally dropped, as did my pencil. My brain automatically went HOLYSHIT YAOI SENSITIVE UKE WTF AM I THINKING UGH. I turned around, and they were actually just punching each other on the arms, but still. I have issues man. Seriously, though, what was I supposed to think!
Speaking of yaoi, I think I may have jumped the gun a bit with it. I mean, after reading those volumes of yaoi a few weeks ago, I haven't actually read any more. I haven't felt the overwhelming desire to, like I thought I would. I'm certainly not obsessed. Maybe it was just a one day thing. Is it possible to be a light yaoi reader, like, read a volume or two occasionally? I guess I'll find out. I have recently started shipping Yuuto and Syu from Called≠Plan, though. So hard. XD


Sorry for the long post today. I have a lot on my mind. I'll finish here as I am, in just a few minutes, going over to CDJapan to purchase SID's new album M&W [Type A]. I've been listening to it all week, seriously. It's amazing, so well arranged and beautiful and lovely and ahhh. I'm just trying to decide if I should pre-order AYABIE's new album in the same order... It's a lot of money, but I don't want to miss out on it. I love AYABIE. And it would mean that I would have to wait longer for SID's album to arrive here. Oh well, ftp, I'm doing it! Ftp, really? Wow, I'm lame.


NP - Konagona by SID

ForeveraWARP

So this morning I woke up to the news that SPIV STATES, one of my favourite bands (if can you call it that? It's just one guy...) is going on hiatus. Jun, vocalist and guitarist, and only member, said he was going to give SPIV STATES a break. He said that he wants to go back to being just a guitarist, as thats how he started out.
At the moment, I'm a little confused as to how I feel. Of course, I support him no matter what direction he choses. Apparently he already has new projects lined up, and I'm so stoked and excited to see what he brings us next. But I'm going to miss his voice. It was really comforting. Maybe one day he'll go back to SPIV STATES, but either way, I respect his decision and will stand by him, always.
I'm just glad its not a retirement. Thats what I was the most afraid of reading when I saw that there was an important announcement. So long as Jun keeps creating music, and is happy doing it, then I'm happy, and will stick with him.

Bring on the next chapter in Jun's colourful, musical, fun-filled story! ♥

NP - Futari no Hoshi by SPIV STATES