I Lied~

I'm sorry, I lied to you. This post is about a week late. Not that it really matters. It's more like I lied to myself. Because after all, that's all this blog really is. A place for me to vent and whinge and sort out my own thoughts. Whether or not anyone reads it or cares, isn't really a major concern of mine. Of course, by the slim chance that there actually are people that read my posts, then I'm truly grateful, thank you very much~

So I'll be honest, this is just a bordom post. I'm having Sims 3 issues, no surprises there, and long story short I have uninstalled and am now in the process of reinstalling my games. So now I get to play the waiting game. I've only just finished reinstalling the base game. Man, all I wanted to do today was listen to music at a volume that would piss off the neighbors and play Sims. Well, at least I can manage one of the two... I really love being home alone, because it means I can play my own music, as loud as I like, and sing along to it, as terribly as I like. I don't like to play my music too loudly when my family are around, because while I know that they don't have problem with it, they don't particularly like it either. I don't want to force people to listen to music they don't like, so usually I listen to music through my headphones or in my room with the door closed. I just wish they did the same thing for me. I don't like my parents' or my brothers' music, but that doesn't seem to stop them from blasting it while i'm trying to watch TV, or playing it in the car. I'm always pushing my volume limit because of them (I don't like to listen to music through headphones on my iPod louder than half-way with the volume, call me paranoid, but I like actually being able to hear things). Anyway, I think everyone is going to be home soon, so I'm making the most of this now. Ah, speak of the devil, guess who just walked through the door. Time to relocate...

Okay, anyway. It's unusual for me to say this, but the reason that I haven't been posting is because I've actually been pretty busy these last couple of weeks. Well, comparatively speaking. On the 22nd I went to my last day of casual work at my mums work, and then that evening we went up North for the weekend, with my homestay student. Then it was Christmas eve and I was running around frantically trying to sort out presents and all that. Then of course was Christmas day. I know right, Christmas just snuck up on us this year or something, like wtf. And then it was all over, just as quickly as it appeared. The day after Christmas is called Boxing Day here, and it's a day when pretty much every store has some kind of sale, and the entire nation goes shopping. It's fucking awful and I highly suggest that if you are ever in New Zealand on the 26th of December that you avoid malls at all costs. This day also happened to be my students birthday, and last full day in NZ, after being here for two years, and living with my family for almost a year. So went out in the morning and surprised her with cake and presents, and then in the afternoon we took a spontaneous trip to Rainbow's End, "New Zealand's Premier theme park"~ Meaning, our ONLY theme park. And it kind of really sucks. It was raining on and off that day, but it was still super fun. I can't think of a better way to have spent the day. It was really empty, because of Boxing Day most people were out shopping, so we never had to queue for anything. I stayed up that night with my student, as we were leaving for the airport at 5.30 am the next morning, and neither of us wanted to sleep. We just hung out and listened to music together for the last time, and watched Adventure Time. Then at around 3am it started to hit home that she was really leaving, and by the time we were all in the car at 5.30, we were a bawling mess. We met up with her sister and her homestay family at the airport, ate breakfast together, and then we had to say goodbye. I can honestly say that I have NEVER cried so much in my life as much as I did that day. Hugging them and saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  Because she wasn't just an exchange student, she was one of my best friends, a part of my family. They both are still. Coming home without her felt so wrong. It still feels weird not having her around, even though it's been a week since she left. I just crawled into bed and cried until I fell asleep. I don't really know what else happened that day. I feel so lonely without her, and the only thought that is keeping me sane is that in a years time I'll be going to visit her in Japan. Well, that's the plan anyway. And I'm going to fight to make it happen. Anyway, the next day I really needed to get out of the house, so I just went some places with my mum. Random places, like a photo printing place and a furniture store. Anything to take my mind of it. Then it seems that the next couple of days were filled with furniture shopping. Seriously, I went furniture shopping for three days in a row. It was nuts. Then all of a sudden it was new years day, hello 2013 and all that. I never have understood the whole point of new years. Like, it's not really a big deal, so why turn it into one? It doesn't have any historical significance or anything, it's just an excuse for people to throw stupid parties and get hammered. I spent new years day at my Grandma's house, and I'm not usually one for talking about nice weather, but damn it was a beautiful day. And so that brings us to today, right now, writing this post. And I am so tired. Of everything. People in my family in particular, I just can't be fucked dealing with any of them to be honest. I've spent way too much time with them lately...

I actually shut myself in my room last night, not talking to anyone, and just sat listening to music and reading various yaoi (mostly of the smutty kind) for about five hours. Ehhh yaoi is so addicting and absorbing. It's hard to stop once you've started. I can't actually tell you the names of the series, because I read on Mangago, when I finish a series it comes up with a whole bunch of suggestions and I click on heaps and the cycle repeats and in the end I've forgotten what the first one I read was called. Plus, I read using Incognito mode on Chrome, so it's not saved to my history. Also, I'm not particularly bothered to remember the names. Most of the series I read are just one-shots or really short, so it's not worth remembering them, as I'll probably never reread them. If it's a series that I really like, that actually has some depth and isn't pure one-shot smut, then I'll take a note of it down somewhere. Not that I have anything against smut. I love smut. It's just unlikely that I'll read a one-shot again, you know? I could read Finder and Koisuru Boukun over and over again though. Well, the chapters that have been released so far, anyway. Speaking of released chapters, WTF WAS UP WITH THE LATEST CHAPTER OF FINDER?! We waited that long for a fucking 15-page story with no actual fucking? I was pissed. But then, I love the series and Yamane's work, so a slow, small chapter is better than no chapter.

And that's all I have to say. For now. I guess. Next post will probably just be a photo spam of what I did in the last month of 2012. Yaaaaay~

Now Playing - CIRCUS by ギルド (GUILD)

Your Gut Says He's Evil~!

My gut says he's good! Let's put our guts together, and end this funky feud~!
Yeah. Guess who's watching Adventure Time. As usual... Anyway, on with the show~

So, I know that it was announced a little while ago now, but it still hasn't quite sunk in yet that LILT will be disbanding soon. Really soon, in fact. I really adore LILT. I realise that I say this about a lot of bands, but every time I say it it's completely true. As for LILT, their music is just so fucking positive and upbeat, it's impossible to feel depressed or upset when listening to them. They may not be the greatest band in the world, and they may not be the most skilled musicians in the world (although I think they're all great - particularly Rei, he is amazing~), but their messages are strong and their passion is clearly just as powerful. I think when the members of a band are obviously loving what they do, and really enjoy being in a band together, it makes the experience all the more enjoyable; for the members and fans alike. I think I've actually already said something like this before, except in relation to THE KIDDIE. I truly believe it, for any band, the functionality of the band depends on the dynamic of the band and the relationships of the members. Ok, so I guess that doesn't really make a whole lot of sense... it sounded better in my head. Anyway, I guess what brought this on was the fact that I was derping on YouTube and I stumbled across LILT's PV for Sakuretsu Freedom. And the only thing I could think was that they all look so happy, like they're having so much fun together. It made me happy too, but sad at the same time. Happy, because... I guess it was just like an infectious happiness that came from that video. You can't not smile with them. I mean, Kou, Rubia and Rei's smiles are just too fucking precious, and while Tsuakasa may not smile quite as much, when he does it's just like a big D'AWWW. And they smiled and laughed together, while making this great, uplifting music that never fails to make my day that much brighter. And so for the same reason, it made me sad. Because there isn't going to be any more of that. Sure, I can always just listen to what they have released. But it won't be the same, knowing that these awesome guys that I love so much and bring me so much happiness are no longer together. No longer making their awesome music together, no more laughing during the making of PVs together. And it just makes me wonder what happened. What was it that lead them to the decision to disband? I know, we will probably never know the reason why. That's how it always is. But they just seemed so happy together, and they had so much potential. Their music was improving a lot, CxLOSE was a really good release, I was so excited about it. I thought that they would keep going, and keep improving, with each new release being better than the last. But I guess crying and booing about it won't change anything. They're going to disband. All I can do now is hope and pray that we see Kou, Tsukasa, Rubia, Rei and Yuuha again soon in new projects, and support them in whatever they choose to take on next. I really wish to see at least a couple of the members in the same new band at some point. Because I refuse to think that their disbanding was due to the members arguing and not getting along. There's no way. Their band dynamic really worked. And even if they aren't in the same band, I want to see them again soon in the visual kei scene anyway, because they're all great musicians, and great guys.
As for my personal thoughts on why they disbanded, and this is only an uneducated guess/musing more like, but maybe it was because they felt they had reached their limit musically-speaking as a band. Like, if they continued, there would be nowhere for their music to go - their musical direction would be at a dead end. So, that way, it's not an issue with the members. It's just that maybe they reached their limit as a band. Who knows, maybe they'll all come back together as a new band, kind of like SINCREA to Fest Vainqueur.
I know, this LILT-disbandment contemplation post is getting pretty long, but I just have one more thing. I kind of feel sorry for Yuuha, the newer member. I mean, he only got to be in the band for what, seven months or something? Having only one release with them. It kinda sucks for him. And he was really cool too! I was looking forward to seeing more of his skills and what he can do. Oh well, I hope to see him again soon.

Ok, wow, sorry. That was a really long rant(?), of sorts, for lack of a better word. And it was probably really incoherent and doesn't make much sense but ehhhh... I'm trying~! Ok, so moving on.
I used a shopping service for the first time yesterday. I used Tenso, because it seems like the most reliable - even Rakuten directs you to them. I wanted to order from the SUPER LOVERS online shop, because they had some things on sale that I've been wanting from CDJapan, but they aren't on sale there. So, I've placed my order and paid, and hopefully my items will be on their way to the Tenso address I was given, where Tenso will then mail them to me. I'm really fucking nervous, because I've never used a shopping service before, so here's hoping it all goes well. I'll do a better review-ish post once I actually get my stuff (and maybe by then I will have figured out how to add photos to a post~) .

Speaking of mail, I really can't wait to get my AYABIE and SID albums. Whaaaa hurry up mailman! I'll admit to downloading AYABIE's album already... I couldn't wait. And it's really fantastic, I love it. I think one of the best things is the intro song, and the way it flows into Rise. It's such a cute intro, and I love that it's the melody to Ryuusei, the last song on the album. Well played, AYABIE! It really pulled me into the album. But, again, I wanna talk about it more when I actually get my own copy... I think this post is long enough already. ^^;;

Today I was walking to school by myself, as always, listening to music in my own world. And acquaintance of mine caught up to me and started walking beside me. It took me a couple of seconds to notice, but when I did I stopped walking and was like, "What are you doing?". They said that they were walking with me, but I was just like, "No, thanks~". And then they were all, wtf... okay... and walked on ahead. I did feel a little mean, but I just really hate being interrupted on my walks to school. I like walking by myself, I choose to do it. It's the only time during the day when I'm not at home where I can be by myself and just think, gather my thoughts and be in my own world and such. I don't have to socialise (wow, I'm a loser...) and I can just be alone with my thoughts. Idk. Just let me have my alone time, dammit!

I'M SO SORRY FOR THIS LONG BORING POST. These are just the things that were predominantly playing on my mind when I decided to write this. I'm trying to be a more interesting person, but it's exhausting... please wait for me a little longer! ><

NP - LIVE Maniac by Jackman