The Romance Is Dead~

Hey whaddup~
So this post is a little overdue. By what, like a month? Sorry about that, but then again it shouldn't come as a surprise. We all know how horrible I am at this blogging thing. Anyway I think this post is going to be a little random. I don't want it to end up too long, but then I'm awful at being brief so it'll probably end up as one big ramble.

Actually, this first thing I want to talk about I do want to keep brief. Because I don't really know how to explain it, even to myself. As you may have guessed from the title, I just want to mention the breakup of one of the most influential bands in my life - My Chemical Romance. Wow, was that announcement sudden or what? Well, that's what I'd like to think. But when I really think about it, I feel like I kind of saw it coming a little while ago. It sounds like they did too. But they pushed on for the sake of the fans. Which is both admirable and annoying. Basically, I first heard MCR nine years ago, and I loved them instantly. They were my favourite band for a long time, and even when I was trying out new things and trying to find out who I was, they were always there, even if it was just in the background. Admittedly, I haven't really been keeping up with them as much in the last couple of years (i.e. the years that I've been into visual kei), but that doesn't mean I loved them any less. They have been there for me through countless occasions, and I'll always be grateful to them for that. I honestly think that without them I wouldn't be the me I am right now. I probably wouldn't have found visual kei. I know that the two aren't really linked, but just trust me on that one. So naturally when I saw the news pop up on Twitter late Saturday night, I was stunned. Shocked. I sort of just sat there for a couple of minutes with my mouth wide open. I felt sadness, yes. But strangely, I was able to accept it. In my heart and my head, I was okay with it. At first I didn't know why. I always thought I would be distraught by this kind of announcement, but I was okay. Well, regardless of how I felt and feel about it, they produced some really, really amazing music in their twelve years together. Those twelve years must have gone by so quickly. It was an abrupt ending that must have left so many fans feeling hurt and betrayed. But I think we, as the fans, have to understand their position in all this. I think reading Gerard's post on Twitter is a good start to achieving that understanding. I was speechless when I read it. It's not only a bloody brilliant piece of writing, it provides this amazingly comforting form of closure on the whole matter. I think rather than trying to explain it myself, and not do it any justice, it would be better if you read it for yourself. All I knew was that I agreed with him completely. And honestly, now is probably a good time for this to happen. Twelve years and four albums is a lot. It was a good, no, an AMAZING run for them, but nothing lasts forever. If they had kept going, there's a chance that they would lose their heart for it all, lose their soul. The music may have ended up being all the same. The band and the fans would get tired of it. It's better to go out with a bang on a positive note, don't you think? Well, this is just my feeling. And I really don't know what else to say about it. I could probably go on forever, but I don't want to. All that's really left to say is thank you. Thank you to My Chemical Romance and everyone who was ever a part of it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you have done for me and countless others. This may be the end, but it's not goodbye.

It actually took me a little while to understand why exactly I was so okay with all of this. I was sitting in bed, still sort of shocked by the news. I looked around my room, at the posters on my wall and the CDs on my shelves. I looked at my laptop screen, which was paused on the Kiseki no Tsubasa PV off-shot DVD that came with FEST VAINQUEUR's GENERATION. And it hit me. I was okay, because of visual kei. No rhyme intended. I know that sounds cheesy as hell, but it's just how it is. Visual kei is my security, my safety blanket. Rather than just cushioning the blow, it lifted me completely. Of course, that's not to say that MCR can be so easily replaced, because they can't. But for the past two years, visual kei has held it's own, stood next to MCR. And now in my heart it's shining brighter than before.

Okay okay, sorry about all that. I just really needed to get that off my chest. I feel good now. Actually, I feel really good, because I just got an email from CDJapan telling me that my copy of ACE's Shiroi Akuma has been shipped! Oh, that reminds me! I was gonna post about some music in my next blog! Well, technically this has been a music post but ok.

BURU2 (finally!) and Called≠Plan L and R! I got the singles a week or so after their release. I didn't care though, all I knew was that I had to get my hands on them. They'd been building up to these for a while, so I knew they would be something special. And they are. Also, I was really hoping that I would get one Yuuto card and one Minoru card. And guess what. That's exactly what I got! I actually flipped my shit. And maybe cried a little. Shhh~

Kameleo's Sandwich LOVE and Royz's Tears! I love Kameleo so much, they're such a great bunch of guys. Royz too, they've really come a long way huh! I got Takeshi for the Kameleo artist photo (HELL YES~) and Tomoya and Kazuki trading cards with Tears! So I was pretty stoked with that. Oh, also, how good is the Koi Hanabi remake?! I was so worried that they would totally butcher one of my favorite songs of theirs, but it's so damn awesome I shouldn't have worried! Sometimes bands can totally kill their good songs by remaking them -cough-SuG's Vi-Vi-Vi remake-cough-

And these are my most recent additions to the family. GOTCHAROCKA's Poisonous berry and SuG Best 2010~2012. Damn... GR are so amazing. They never, ever disappoint  Poisonous berry is just... ugh fantastic. And the PV is nothing to complain about either ;D As for SuG's best, well... I just felt like I had to have it. For sentimental reasons, you know? With the hiatus and all. 

As I said, I'm getting ACE's new single soon, hopefully within the next week. I really can't wait, it sounds like such a beautiful song. As all their songs are~

Ah, what else... I haven't really been out much lately. So just have some random pictures.

Idk. This outfit was kind of weird. But I liked it. So whatever.

I don't remember what we did this day. Derpderp.

This outfit was kind of boring, but it was waaaay too hot to bother with anything else. 

And that's all. Sorry this post is so fucking random and long. Maybe next time I'll have more structure LOL WHAT NO WAY. Oh, actually, I ordered a wig from Gothic Lolita Wigs, so I guess I'll post about that once it gets here! I'm so excited omfg. Ok. I'm really done now. See ya~

(I've never been good at selfies ok shut up)

Now Playing - Poisonous berry by GOTCHAROCKA

We Are Rock People~!

Fuck. I miss Jun's Niconico weekly live streams. I miss chatting with all the WARPS, fangirling and squealing over collarbones and thighs, Beardy, his occasional tipsy-like behaviour, the Happy Birthday song in adorable engrish, the always asking for a kiss but not getting it (except a couple of times, ohmygod). Having something to look forward to every week, something that could get me through the week. Knowing that no matter how bad a week it had been, Jun and all the WARPS would be there. I guess I miss the the general feeling of the streams. The feeling that I actually belong somewhere. The feeling of being part of one big, awesome, crazy family. Seriously, the Spiv States/Jun fandom is the only one that I've ever felt comfortable in, or like I am actually a part of. Ugh. Now I'm really sad. How do I deal~!

Ok, so the other day in class, someone who I thought was supposed to be something of a friend of mine, said something that struck a nerve with me. Long story short, he essentially said, straight to my face, that visual kei is 'disgusting', and he doesn't understand why guys would willingly make themselves look more feminine and the fact that they do look like girls is disgusting. All I was doing was looking at a photo that Jun (Utahiroba, of Golden Bomber), had posted in a blog entry. That's all. I wasn't harming anyone, I wasn't talking to him, just minding my own business.I didn't ask for his opinion. It was weird, because usually he just jokes about my 'men in skirts', but I don't mind that so much, because I know he's just kidding around and isn't trying to be mean.
I was shocked. I didn't even know what to say, it was so random and out of the blue. I was so fucking upset and angry that I actually had to get up and leave the room. I don't know why, but I felt like I was going to burst into tears, like it was my mother that he was insulting. It really, really hurt. I wanted to punch him in face. And even though it was quite clear that what he said hurt me, he hasn't apologised. No, I don't want him to apologise for having his own opinion, but generally, when you hurt someone, you should apologise for hurting them. He knows that my music and bands are practically my whole life, and I just don't get why he had to say something so rude about it. Honestly, he didn't have to fucking say anything at all. I didn't ask him what he thought, I didn't ask him to look. He could have just kept his mouth shut. I haven't talked to him since then, and honestly, I don't care if I never talk to him again. He really wasn't even that good of a friend.

What makes it worse, was that recently I've been feeling quite lonely. I don't really have anyone else who has the same musical interests as me. Sometimes I just want to fangirl the fuck out, but with another fangirl, not by myself all the time. I don't know anyone else other than my homestay who likes visual kei. At school I feel so alone, even when I have people around me. I can't talk to any of my 'friends' about my music, and if/when I do, I feel like I shouldn't because they don't care. It's really hard to be a visual fan, huh... Especially when you're an internet nobody and you don't even have online friends to fangirl with. I just feel... so... ughh.

Oh wahhh, this post was really depressing, huh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to be.
Oh, funny story! Yesterday, I was sitting in Geography class doing my work (I sit up the front), and I happened to overhear two guys who sit at the back of my class talking. Their conversation, from where I heard it, went something like this:
Guy 1 - "Ouch!"
Guy 2- "I didn't even go that hard!"
Guy 1 - "But it hurt!"
Pause
Guy 1 - "Stop it, it feels weird!"

My jaw literally dropped, as did my pencil. My brain automatically went HOLYSHIT YAOI SENSITIVE UKE WTF AM I THINKING UGH. I turned around, and they were actually just punching each other on the arms, but still. I have issues man. Seriously, though, what was I supposed to think!
Speaking of yaoi, I think I may have jumped the gun a bit with it. I mean, after reading those volumes of yaoi a few weeks ago, I haven't actually read any more. I haven't felt the overwhelming desire to, like I thought I would. I'm certainly not obsessed. Maybe it was just a one day thing. Is it possible to be a light yaoi reader, like, read a volume or two occasionally? I guess I'll find out. I have recently started shipping Yuuto and Syu from Called≠Plan, though. So hard. XD


Sorry for the long post today. I have a lot on my mind. I'll finish here as I am, in just a few minutes, going over to CDJapan to purchase SID's new album M&W [Type A]. I've been listening to it all week, seriously. It's amazing, so well arranged and beautiful and lovely and ahhh. I'm just trying to decide if I should pre-order AYABIE's new album in the same order... It's a lot of money, but I don't want to miss out on it. I love AYABIE. And it would mean that I would have to wait longer for SID's album to arrive here. Oh well, ftp, I'm doing it! Ftp, really? Wow, I'm lame.


NP - Konagona by SID

HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA

WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who watches that video on YouTube at least once a day. I need my daily dose. How about you?

In all seriousness though, that is relevant to what I want to talk about. I'm just thinking about the recent announcement from Called≠Plan. This is what I read yesterday, from fuckyeahcalledplan.tumblr.com;

"Thank you for always supporting Called≠Plan.

With the one-man tour, “Yozolion,” which begins today, the four-member band, Called≠Plan, will cease activity.

Starting from September, vocal Yuuto, guitar Otoha, guitar Rei, bass syu, and an additional new member will join to continue activity together.

The new member will be announced some time in the future, so until August 26th, please continue to support the current members in their activities.

Called≠Plan 
Planet CHILD Music"

So I read the first two lines and had the biggest heart attack moment. I love this band, I honestly don't know how I would deal if they disbanded. But I'm a little confused... From my understanding of this, what's going to happen is: The four guys (Yuuto, Otoha, Rei and Syu) will do their tour under the band name Called≠Plan. After that, they will change their band name and get a new band member. They will no longer be called Called≠Plan, but they are all still going to be in the same band, with an additional member. Is that right? If it is, then thank the lord, they are going to stay together as a band! I don't know why they had to freak everyone out with the whole "cease activity" thing. It's really misleading. They're just changing the band name... but I guess they'll change things up with their music and look and such. Ah well, I look forward to it. As long as they're all still together I'm happy. Seriously, I feel like these guys were made to be in a band together. The dynamic, everything just... works with them. 
AHHHH I just remembered. I was waiting for them to release a full album, so I never bought any of their singles or mini album. Booo! ><

The type of ZUCK's new album that I wanted is out of stock at CDJapan. That sucks. Would any of the other stores, like Cool Japan Store or Yes Asia have it? I guess I'll check them out. I really am serious about buying the album. I worry about ZUCK sometimes... And their music is fantastic. I know it's going to be a really great album, I just need a little more time to save up for it, that's all. Although, the type that I wanted was the one with my least favourite cover art... But I don't base it on cover art. I wanted type A, the one with the photobook and DVD. I guess I really should have got in sooner. I think I'll probably still buy one of the other types if I can't find A, anyway. I wish I could support the bands I listen to more...

Damn I forgot what else I had to say. This always happens. I need to fix this problem I have. Meh. I have a pile of manga to read for the weekend, so I guess I'll start on that. Maybe my thoughts will come flowing back. Or not. Herrrrrp.

NP - Иatural Pop by Orange Range