I Lied~

I'm sorry, I lied to you. This post is about a week late. Not that it really matters. It's more like I lied to myself. Because after all, that's all this blog really is. A place for me to vent and whinge and sort out my own thoughts. Whether or not anyone reads it or cares, isn't really a major concern of mine. Of course, by the slim chance that there actually are people that read my posts, then I'm truly grateful, thank you very much~

So I'll be honest, this is just a bordom post. I'm having Sims 3 issues, no surprises there, and long story short I have uninstalled and am now in the process of reinstalling my games. So now I get to play the waiting game. I've only just finished reinstalling the base game. Man, all I wanted to do today was listen to music at a volume that would piss off the neighbors and play Sims. Well, at least I can manage one of the two... I really love being home alone, because it means I can play my own music, as loud as I like, and sing along to it, as terribly as I like. I don't like to play my music too loudly when my family are around, because while I know that they don't have problem with it, they don't particularly like it either. I don't want to force people to listen to music they don't like, so usually I listen to music through my headphones or in my room with the door closed. I just wish they did the same thing for me. I don't like my parents' or my brothers' music, but that doesn't seem to stop them from blasting it while i'm trying to watch TV, or playing it in the car. I'm always pushing my volume limit because of them (I don't like to listen to music through headphones on my iPod louder than half-way with the volume, call me paranoid, but I like actually being able to hear things). Anyway, I think everyone is going to be home soon, so I'm making the most of this now. Ah, speak of the devil, guess who just walked through the door. Time to relocate...

Okay, anyway. It's unusual for me to say this, but the reason that I haven't been posting is because I've actually been pretty busy these last couple of weeks. Well, comparatively speaking. On the 22nd I went to my last day of casual work at my mums work, and then that evening we went up North for the weekend, with my homestay student. Then it was Christmas eve and I was running around frantically trying to sort out presents and all that. Then of course was Christmas day. I know right, Christmas just snuck up on us this year or something, like wtf. And then it was all over, just as quickly as it appeared. The day after Christmas is called Boxing Day here, and it's a day when pretty much every store has some kind of sale, and the entire nation goes shopping. It's fucking awful and I highly suggest that if you are ever in New Zealand on the 26th of December that you avoid malls at all costs. This day also happened to be my students birthday, and last full day in NZ, after being here for two years, and living with my family for almost a year. So went out in the morning and surprised her with cake and presents, and then in the afternoon we took a spontaneous trip to Rainbow's End, "New Zealand's Premier theme park"~ Meaning, our ONLY theme park. And it kind of really sucks. It was raining on and off that day, but it was still super fun. I can't think of a better way to have spent the day. It was really empty, because of Boxing Day most people were out shopping, so we never had to queue for anything. I stayed up that night with my student, as we were leaving for the airport at 5.30 am the next morning, and neither of us wanted to sleep. We just hung out and listened to music together for the last time, and watched Adventure Time. Then at around 3am it started to hit home that she was really leaving, and by the time we were all in the car at 5.30, we were a bawling mess. We met up with her sister and her homestay family at the airport, ate breakfast together, and then we had to say goodbye. I can honestly say that I have NEVER cried so much in my life as much as I did that day. Hugging them and saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  Because she wasn't just an exchange student, she was one of my best friends, a part of my family. They both are still. Coming home without her felt so wrong. It still feels weird not having her around, even though it's been a week since she left. I just crawled into bed and cried until I fell asleep. I don't really know what else happened that day. I feel so lonely without her, and the only thought that is keeping me sane is that in a years time I'll be going to visit her in Japan. Well, that's the plan anyway. And I'm going to fight to make it happen. Anyway, the next day I really needed to get out of the house, so I just went some places with my mum. Random places, like a photo printing place and a furniture store. Anything to take my mind of it. Then it seems that the next couple of days were filled with furniture shopping. Seriously, I went furniture shopping for three days in a row. It was nuts. Then all of a sudden it was new years day, hello 2013 and all that. I never have understood the whole point of new years. Like, it's not really a big deal, so why turn it into one? It doesn't have any historical significance or anything, it's just an excuse for people to throw stupid parties and get hammered. I spent new years day at my Grandma's house, and I'm not usually one for talking about nice weather, but damn it was a beautiful day. And so that brings us to today, right now, writing this post. And I am so tired. Of everything. People in my family in particular, I just can't be fucked dealing with any of them to be honest. I've spent way too much time with them lately...

I actually shut myself in my room last night, not talking to anyone, and just sat listening to music and reading various yaoi (mostly of the smutty kind) for about five hours. Ehhh yaoi is so addicting and absorbing. It's hard to stop once you've started. I can't actually tell you the names of the series, because I read on Mangago, when I finish a series it comes up with a whole bunch of suggestions and I click on heaps and the cycle repeats and in the end I've forgotten what the first one I read was called. Plus, I read using Incognito mode on Chrome, so it's not saved to my history. Also, I'm not particularly bothered to remember the names. Most of the series I read are just one-shots or really short, so it's not worth remembering them, as I'll probably never reread them. If it's a series that I really like, that actually has some depth and isn't pure one-shot smut, then I'll take a note of it down somewhere. Not that I have anything against smut. I love smut. It's just unlikely that I'll read a one-shot again, you know? I could read Finder and Koisuru Boukun over and over again though. Well, the chapters that have been released so far, anyway. Speaking of released chapters, WTF WAS UP WITH THE LATEST CHAPTER OF FINDER?! We waited that long for a fucking 15-page story with no actual fucking? I was pissed. But then, I love the series and Yamane's work, so a slow, small chapter is better than no chapter.

And that's all I have to say. For now. I guess. Next post will probably just be a photo spam of what I did in the last month of 2012. Yaaaaay~

Now Playing - CIRCUS by ギルド (GUILD)

I Suck At Being A Girl~

I don't know how to do it very well. Today, while I was out with a friend, I asked her if she could teach me about makeup. I mean, I do wear it, but not a lot, and I'm pretty clueless about it. I sort of just make it up as I go along (hurrhurr, you see what I did thar). So anyway, we went to a pharmacy and she got her colours matched for foundation. So I wanted to get it done too. Turns out my face is so naturally pale, that the most affordable brand, Maybelline, doesn't have any products that are light enough for my skin. So I was recommended a slightly more expensive option from L'Oreal, which I think I'll go back and buy soon. But even so, it was the lightest possible colour of the brand. xD

She also taught me about things like brushes/sponges, how to apply things, and what looks good together. You know, that sort of thing. She's pretty knowledgeable about makeup. She helped me decide what eyeliner and mascara I should get. I already have those things, but they're pretty basic and I'm running out, so I thought I'd step it up. I'm looking to buy some fake eyelashes, but so far I haven't found any particularly awesome. Most of them are just like, natural, or slightly exaggerated natural. Boring shit like that, you know? That's probably because my whole country is boring. JK love you New Zealand.

WHALES.

Damn it, I hate not having a case for my iPod! It makes me so nervous. I ordered a case off eBay over a week ago, but it hasn't arrived yet, so I've decided that I'll give it 3 weeks (in working days, so 15 working days), and then I'll contact the seller. I hope it gets here soon. It's a Hello Kitty case! It's white, with an interchangeable bow. I think it comes with a pink bow and a red bow. It's pretty simple, but I think it's really cute.

I'm having even more music-buying issues. I've been watching the PV for Brave Sword by PIECE, and just today I listened to a preview of the song on the album. And now I want the album even more! But seriously, they're charging MORE than the limited edition version of Piko's new album (just to use as a comparison), but their album is basically a regular edition. It has 13 tracks, and yes, it does come with a DVD, but that only has one PV on it. It seems like a little bit much, doesn't it? But I really want to support them, I'm worried if they don't get enough support that they'll disband... Well, who needs limbs, anyway?

I'm gonna play the Sims now. This is how I celebrate that my midterm exams are over, and ended without any major dilemmas... whoop~

NP - Mugen no Sora e by PIECE

How Does This Keep Happening?

I was going to spend all evening playing the Sims (yeah I know, mla), but I got distracted and ended up spending the whole evening looking at yaoi blogs. Seriously, that shit is addicting! I don't actually watch or read any series, and I don't plan on it for the moment, but really. If I happen to stumble upon a yaoi blog, I find it almost impossible to tear my eyes away from the screen. But to be honest, I feel like I'm not old enough to be looking at it. I always wonder, what is the average age for a yaoi fan? Is it normal/okay for me to be into it at 17? Well, no, cause I'm not actually into it, I just happen to look at some pictures and stuff that I find unintentionally every now and then and... this is how it starts, isn't it? =3=
I just want someone to tell me that it's okay for me to look at this stuff, and not find it gross. I need someone to tell me that it's normal, or at the very least not bad...
And there's no way in hell I'm ever going to tell my parents or real life friends about it. I'd probably end up with even less friends than the small amount I currently have. And my parents finding out? Oh god, the awkward! It makes me cringe just thinking about it. I actually do like light shonen-ai, and I wouldn't feel awkward admitting that. But yaoi is a whole new level, and I just... I don't know. I'll figure it out. I'll just keep getting my harmless, little, once-in-a-while fixes. I don't think I'm going to turn into a hardcore yaoi fangirl any time soon, so I guess no worries for now.
-Is now desperately hoping that nobody I know irl ever sees this-

AND NOW, CHILDREN. I will actually go and play the Sims for real. And, if anyone is wondering, I mean the Sims 2. Yes, I have the Sims 3, but I have that on the family mac, and I don't like the way it looks on my laptop, so I play Sims 2 on my laptop. I actually still like playing the Sims 2. Sometimes the Sims 3 gets boring, because I don't have enough expansions yet //craicraitoopoor

NP - Ai no Kusari by FEST VAINQUEUR

Hey, Hey Mama!

So I recently started watching Hetalia: Axis Powers, and I have to say, I'm loving it. It was a pleasant surprise. I really wasn't sure what to expect, especially considering all the superyaoi fangirl pairings that I've seen around the interwebs... I held off watching it for this long because of that. I actually don't mind yaoi, although I prefer the less graphic stuff, but it's not exactly the kind of thing you can just be reading or watching when your parents walk in. I thought the actual show would have all these, y'know, pairings and such. But, gladly it doesn't. I guess the show does encourage these pairings, in a way, but not to the extent that it would bother the non-yaoi/BL fan, which is nice. It's a very funny, and quite frankly adorable, show, and even though I haven't even finished the first series yet, I know it's destined to be a favourite. The historical accuracy is a little off, though, but it makes up for that in lols and cuteness. I also find it interesting that Italy is shown as being the cowardly country - from what I've been taught in History it was France that was always waving the white flag, or crying for help. Hah. I know I had more to say, but I think I'll leave it at that for now.

I also joined last.fm recently. Recently as in, today. So feel free to friend me! I would love that, really~ I need some J-Rock/Visual Kei/Japan fan friends. I have none. //craicraiforeveralone
last.fm - http://www.last.fm/user/fairytears

It was the first day back at school today, after a disappointingly short two weeks. It made me realise just how much I hate people. Ugh. The whole day, I was thinking 'cannot deal cannot deal I want to go home'. And to make it worse, when all I want to do is just sink into the background and become part of the scenery, there always seems to be someone staring at me. Yes, I dyed my hair during the holidays. That doesn't call for raging stares of disbelief, bitter glares or snickering to your friends about how I'm so'lame' or some other judgemental bullshit that all those fucking plastic clones like to spout about people with even a scrap of individuality. Whoo. Sorry. End rant. Right. Tea, shower, and The Sims. That's my agenda for the night. I think I'll start now. Bye bye~

NP - 君PIECE by Called≠Plan