Beautyfool Days~

So I feel like in light of recent news, a blog post is mandatory.

The news is SuG's hiatus and leaving PSC. Yes, really, I am going to talk about it. And yes, really, I am sad about it. Of course I am. SuG is one of my absolute favourite bands, I wouldn't be who I am now if it weren't for them. Plus, the news was so sudden and out of the blue. So please, allow me my right to be a little upset about it. Imagine if your favourite band suddenly announced that they were going on hiatus. While you know it's not a disbandment, it still hurts. Even though they promise to return, it still leaves you feeling uncertain. Especially when they put the word 'indefinite' before it. I honestly never expected it from SuG. Never. I would have been less surprised if they had announced a disbandment, to be honest. I would be even more distraught, but it's something that I know a lot of SuG fans have been worrying about. Although, I didn't really, and still don't think that they'll disband any time soon. But a hiatus is something I really never expected them to pull. From the translations of the blog posts and the notice on the HP, Takeru believes that if SuG continues the way they are now then they would be betraying themselves and the fans. My interpretation is that means that they no longer felt like they were being true to themselves in what they were producing. Which is fair enough. If the band feels that what they are doing isn't what they want anymore, then they should do whatever they need to put themselves in a better place. When I first read the news I had just been woken up at 7am, after six hours sleep, so it probably seemed a lot worse to me than it was. I was in shock. I did actually cry. That could have just been the lack of sleep playing it's part though... Now that I've had more time to think about it, and read more on the subject, I'm starting to feel much more positive about it. Of course, there's still uncertainty and sadness, but I believe we should look at it as a good thing. SuG are standing up for themselves against PSC. Maybe, and this is just my thoughts, PSC were holding SuG back, and not allowing them to do what they wanted to their fullest extent. And I can see where SuG are coming from. I can't actually explain my thoughts and feelings anymore than this. I can't seem to find the right words.

But I do know, that no matter what, I will wait for SuG. I will ALWAYS support them, with my whole heart and soul. While I don't exactly 100% trust Takeru to not go off and do his own thing, I know that SuG is the most important thing to him. It is also clearly very important to the rest of the members. It seems the desicion wasn't exactly easy on them. My heart broke when I read the translation of Shinpei's comment! So I believe that they will keep their promise to us, and come back alive and kicking. I really hope that the new SuG will actually be more like the old SuG. It seems Takeru wants to get back in touch with their whole thing of 'Heavy Positive Rock'. Which I take as a good sign! So let's support the boys, and wait patiently for their return, for even more crazy, fun, imperfect beautyfool days!

Sorry, this entire post is more just a way for me to try and sort out my feelings towards the whole thing. It worked too, so I regret nothing. My head is in a better space about it all now. ^^

Now Playing - Room by SID

OHHEY~

Wow, it's been what, three weeks since I posted last? Something like that. To be honest, I'm not even sorry. I don't really have a good reason why, either. Forever a useless blogger... XD

Since my last post, which I just reread and am now shuddering with embarrassment over how much of a loser I am, I've still been feeling a little down every now and then, but overall I'd say I'm feeling more like myself. I've been feeling pretty happy with most things. But I didn't want to post for a while. I'm not really sure, but I just didn't want to. I wanted to sort out the weird slump that I was in and come back with a fresh attitude. I'm trying to be more positive about things. It's hard, seriously. I've been so negative about everything for so long, it's hard to just turn that off. I don't think I ever will, really. I just want to be able to look at things in a more positive light. So I'll keep working at that. 

I guess another reason for my lack of blog is for this past week I've had practise exams at school, so I was studying hard for those. Nerd alert. I don't know why I studied quite so hard for them, as it was just practise for the end of year exams, but I did and I kind of wore myself out. Honestly though, I think it's because I hate the feeling of failing. I feel like when I don't pass with good grades, even if its just a practise exam, then I'm letting people down. Not only myself, but my parents and especially my teachers. I feel like I wasted their time. Seriously, I respect four out of five of my teachers a lot, they're really intelligent people who genuinely care for my education. The fifth one, well, I don't think he gives two fucks, but hey. He's fun to have as a teacher for a subject that I don't care about. Anyway, my last one was on Thursday last week.  Overall, I think I did okay. There are some subjects that I could have done better in, but I certainly could have done worse! Wait, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Also, for a couple of weeks before last week I was also studying. So yeah. 

Lastly, and mainly, I'd say it's just because I'm lazy, and frankly I find myself to be an extremely boring person. I just never really had anything interesting to say. Honestly, I still don't. I'm just rambling here, and I will continue to do so for the rest of this post, and all the posts to come. I hope there is at least one person who finds my ramblings interesting, or just likes to read to laugh at me, or just to be a mind-numbing distraction from something. I'm happy to be anything you need! Feel free to laugh at me or numb your overworked mind. ^^

So I'm hoping to get a job interview really soon. I need one. I've already talked about the place where I applied, and my friend who works there said that her manager is going to start calling in lots of people for interviews over the next few days. I'm crossing all my fingers and toes hoping that I'm one of those people. My friend also put in good word for me, so hopefully that'll up my chances. I really hope I get the job, and I don't mean to sound full of myself here at all, but I should have a pretty good chance of getting it. It's like, the lowest place to start in terms of part time jobs, right alongside working in a supermarket. They hire anyone if they need to. Plus, if you'd seen the kinds of people that they have working there already, then I seem like a pretty good choice. That's saying something, right?

I really wanna buy FEST VAINQUEUR's new album! I really love them, their music has a really good energy. If I got it from CDJapan, so long as I got first press, it would come with a signed poster! Eeeeep! This is one reason why I desperately need a job... I am also quite interested in buying Mejibray's new single Emily, but then I think I'll wait for another full album release from them. I've known of Mejibray for a while, and I always thought their music was really good, but I've only just started really listening to them a lot recently, as in the past couple of months. And I know this is going to make me sound really noobish, but I'm still not over the fact that MiA used to be in Toon Factory. I liked MiA before I knew he was MiA. I really liked Toon Factory, but then it turned out that they had disbanded like, a month before I got into them. So I didn't really keep up with them or what the members were up to. Then Mejibray and then MiA and then whaaaaa. Now that I think about it though, Toon Factory started out all oshare and colourful, but they did become darker in look and sound towards the end. So maybe its not so weird that MiA ended up in Mejibray. And it seems that he is really enjoying every minute of being in Mejibray, which is great. He's such a wonderful musician.

Still on the topic of music that I really want to buy but seriously lack the money for. THE KIDDIE have another album coming out! Two in one year! They're really on a roll! And of course, me being an uber KIDDIE fangirl for life, I have to get it. I don't care if I have to sponge of my parents to get it. I'm just waiting for CDJapan to list it, and then that baby is mine. Awww yisssss. I just have one problem, though... Yusa's new hair. What in the world was he thinking?! It's awful! I just can't even deal... What's he going to do when he is just dressing casually, say, to go to the supermarket or something? He's going to have this ridiculous looking fringe thing going on. Oh well, I hope, for his sake at least, that his hair grows out fast.
And there's more! UNiTE, new album. I adore UNiTE. And I don't have any physical copies of their music yet, so I really want this album too. Also, Mix Speaker's,Inc. are releasing a new album. I don't have any of their CDs either, so I want that tooooo. PLUS, oh this just keeps getting better and better (both in a serious and sarcastic way), LM.C are releasing a new single! Which, because LM.C are my favourite band in the whole world forever, I want desperately. I'm pretty sure that there was a couple of other things, but these are the ones I want the most as of right now, this day. Oh can you imagine what this is going to do to my parents wallets? This is exactly why I want a job, because I want all these things, but I can't possibly ask my parents to buy all that. I need to be able to get things like this for myself. I'll feel okay with asking my parents to buy me necessary things, like socks or toothpaste, but when it comes to things like music or expensive clothes, I really want to be able to get them with my own work and money.

Last thing for today, as I just remembered something else on my want list, BURU2! SuG's Takeru x Kera book. I have the first one, and it consistently makes me so happy. Even if I can't read it, just flicking through and looking at the photos, seeing Takeru's beautiful face on almost every page. Thinking about how much I love, and am thankful to him for. So I would really like to get BURU2, for sentimental reasons more than anything.

Yup. So it turns out that this post was just me updating, or whining, take your pick, about all the things I want right now. This second half of the year has been just as packed, if not more, than the first in terms of music releases! But I'm not complaining. New music just means that the bands I love are doing okay. That's the way I see it, anyway.

I'm really sorry for this long and shit post. I realise it is completely boring and lacking in flow. My writing is crap right now, plus I'm really tired today. As always, I'll try to do better next time!

NP - LOSING MY WAY OF THE PROUD by Sadie

Visual Kei and Pokemon are Japanese traditions!

Huh. Well. It's been a whole year. What's up, blogface?
I think, it would be fair to say, that I am entirely shit at continuing with a blog. Or sticking at anything, for that matter. I always have been. Like, whenever I tried to keep a diary as a kid, because and all my friends said they did, I would always give up after just a few days. Well, what're you gonna do. This has been something of my favourite expression lately. I should find a more motivational one, I think...

So! A whole year. That's a hell of a long time. And I sure have changed. At least, I think I have. What's new with me? What has happened in my life in this past year? I think I'll start with the thing that I think is most important to me. I fell in love with Visual Kei. It started almost exactly a year ago, when I was herp-derping around on the internet. I already liked a few J-Rock artists, but I kept seeing these terms "visual" and "oshare" popping up. So, me being curious George, I looked them up. The first image that I clicked on was a picture of Takeru of SuG. It was a photo from their single 小悪魔Sparkling (Koakuma Sparkling). I don't want to sound like a cliche douchebag here, but it legitimately was love at first sight. I had to know more. I looked into SuG first, completely adored the music, and well, the rest goes from there. SuG are still one of my favourite bands. They will always hold a special place for me. However, about six months ago, I found my absolute favourite band, bias, and obsession. LM.C, with their song PUNKY ❤ HEART, which is still one of my absolute favourites of theirs. I'm not even going to try to put into words how much they mean to me. Because I honestly can't. And I know, it hasn't even been that long, and I do feel like a bit of a noob fan sometimes, but that doesn't matter. I just can't help but love them. Actually, I feel like a pretty noob fan to Visual Kei in general. Sometimes that gets me down. I think, "If only I had found Visual Kei sooner..." But, again. What're you gonna do. I've found it now, and that's what is important.

Oh shit, I made a whole paragraph just on that. Alright, well, I'll try and sum up the rest of what happened. I became even more obsessed with Japan than I already was, becoming extremely interested in Japanese street fashion and subcultures. I became an h.NAOTO fangirl, and its my dream to own three articles of clothing of his, at least. I bought a whole bunch of manga. I also bought quite a fair amount of anime, including the Naruto complete series box set. I've dyed my hair at least five times, right now it's half bleached and half black (I was trying to do something like Utahiroba Jun from Golden Bomber. It didn't entirely work out, but it's alright). I haven't gained or lost any weight, which I find both pleasing and frustrating. Narwhals. I've been going to see a dermatologist, and now my skin is actually pretty good. I'm now in my last year of high school, and in all honesty, I'm bugging out. I've lost and made friends, but let's not get into all that bullshit. One of my three cats died, which was sad, but she was a bit of a wild cat, and she prefered to spend her time outside away from people, so I feel like I never really got emotionally attached to her. And actually, that's about all the remotely interesting things I can think of. Other than that, I've sort of just been standing back and letting the world go by.

I think I'm done for the day. I honestly don't know what inspired me to write here again. But I do know that I have a hell of a lot of homework to do. I have to read four novels in two weeks, which may not sound like much, but I'm not a very fast reader, and I do have something of a life, i.e. spending all my time fangirling.

Oh, here are some things of mine. I like getting new followers, and, for the most part, I always follow back.
Twitter - https://twitter.com/#!/_automaticeyes
Pinterest - http://pinterest.com/wonderholic/

Ah, and one more thing! The title of this post is a quote, from Takeru of SuG.

Now playing: LM.C - BABY TALK